Dear [insert financial institution],
Now that I've graduated from college, I have a new-found freedom to express my opinions... about a ton of shit. Lately, I've been really annoyed by people who use the word "sorry" and just don't mean it. How can someone tell if they don't mean it? It's hard to say, but I'm going to try to make sense of it in this letter.
When I was a child, I always got in trouble with my parents; not doing the laundry, not picking up after myself, speaking out against them. Either way, I was usually punished despite me saying that I was sorry. My mother always told me that I didn't even know what the word meant. And now I realize I, indeed, had no idea what it meant when I was a kid. It's probably because I understand it a little better now. Regardless, as I learned more about this disyllabic utterance, I continued to misbehave and use it - correctly or incorrectly - even though the outcome was still the same. It might get to the point where using the word "sorry" would anger my parents even more.
Then I got it. I stopped using it.
What I learned from it was rather simple. No one really cares whether I'm sorry or not. What matters is that I did something wrong. And if I were really "sorry" I just wouldn't do it again. So using the word is only a courtesy and it's empty in meaning. It might as well not exist. Something I learned about myself as part of this lesson was that, when I stopped using "sorry," I began to do it consciously. Literally, making myself not say it with the hope of getting out of some trouble for using it. This, surprisingly, made me feel less regret. Not really along the line of spite, but rather it made me realize that I have way more control over what I do. Yes, I could have prevented it, but I didn't. And the reason for why I didn't became painfully clear to me. This is what made me reexamine the true meaning of "sorry." It's not about feeling regret. It's about realizing the control to fix it and prevent it. And yes, I suppose it's definitely OK to revel in your misbehavior. It feels good for a while and if you're being punished for it, who cares? No one is going to care. You messed up? Have a drink or two. Watch ten episodes of your favorite show. Eat a cake. Use certain people's faces as a dart board. (Low funds option: Do a little dance then run in the streets naked at 3 in the morning.) Just don't say you're bloody sorry. No one is going to care. I certainly won't.
To be sorry is to be a sad excuse for a human being. Think about it that way. So, Ms. Bank Teller, when you tell me you're sorry and that you've been there and you understand and that I'm not the only one, remember this. I don't give a damn whether I'm not the only one with my problems, maybe you've been there but I'm sure you have less at stake, you certainly don't understand because I'm smarter than you, and I really don't give a bloody rat's ass if you're sorry. Because I know you're not. When you say you're sorry, you're saying that you're a sad excuse for a human being.
Thank you and have a nice, sorry-free day.
Bitch.
For those of you who, instead, have a difficult time saying sorry, this article is not for you. Instead, if you're into Jesus, you should read this. Otherwise, I recommend to all my readers that all language should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm a linguist. Trust me.
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Now that I've graduated from college, I have a new-found freedom to express my opinions... about a ton of shit. Lately, I've been really annoyed by people who use the word "sorry" and just don't mean it. How can someone tell if they don't mean it? It's hard to say, but I'm going to try to make sense of it in this letter.
When I was a child, I always got in trouble with my parents; not doing the laundry, not picking up after myself, speaking out against them. Either way, I was usually punished despite me saying that I was sorry. My mother always told me that I didn't even know what the word meant. And now I realize I, indeed, had no idea what it meant when I was a kid. It's probably because I understand it a little better now. Regardless, as I learned more about this disyllabic utterance, I continued to misbehave and use it - correctly or incorrectly - even though the outcome was still the same. It might get to the point where using the word "sorry" would anger my parents even more.
Then I got it. I stopped using it.
What I learned from it was rather simple. No one really cares whether I'm sorry or not. What matters is that I did something wrong. And if I were really "sorry" I just wouldn't do it again. So using the word is only a courtesy and it's empty in meaning. It might as well not exist. Something I learned about myself as part of this lesson was that, when I stopped using "sorry," I began to do it consciously. Literally, making myself not say it with the hope of getting out of some trouble for using it. This, surprisingly, made me feel less regret. Not really along the line of spite, but rather it made me realize that I have way more control over what I do. Yes, I could have prevented it, but I didn't. And the reason for why I didn't became painfully clear to me. This is what made me reexamine the true meaning of "sorry." It's not about feeling regret. It's about realizing the control to fix it and prevent it. And yes, I suppose it's definitely OK to revel in your misbehavior. It feels good for a while and if you're being punished for it, who cares? No one is going to care. You messed up? Have a drink or two. Watch ten episodes of your favorite show. Eat a cake. Use certain people's faces as a dart board. (Low funds option: Do a little dance then run in the streets naked at 3 in the morning.) Just don't say you're bloody sorry. No one is going to care. I certainly won't.
To be sorry is to be a sad excuse for a human being. Think about it that way. So, Ms. Bank Teller, when you tell me you're sorry and that you've been there and you understand and that I'm not the only one, remember this. I don't give a damn whether I'm not the only one with my problems, maybe you've been there but I'm sure you have less at stake, you certainly don't understand because I'm smarter than you, and I really don't give a bloody rat's ass if you're sorry. Because I know you're not. When you say you're sorry, you're saying that you're a sad excuse for a human being.
Thank you and have a nice, sorry-free day.
Bitch.
For those of you who, instead, have a difficult time saying sorry, this article is not for you. Instead, if you're into Jesus, you should read this. Otherwise, I recommend to all my readers that all language should be taken with a grain of salt. I'm a linguist. Trust me.
2 comments:
"What matters is that I did something wrong. And if I were really "sorry" I just wouldn't do it again. So using the word is only a courtesy and it's empty in meaning. It might as well not exist. Something I learned about myself as part of this lesson was that, when I stopped using "sorry," I began to do it consciously. Literally, making myself not say it with the hope of getting out of some trouble for using it. This, surprisingly, made me feel less regret. Not really along the line of spite, but rather it made me realize that I have way more control over what I do. Yes, I could have prevented it, but I didn't. And the reason for why I didn't became painfully clear to me. This is what made me reexamine the true meaning of "sorry." It's not about feeling regret. It's about realizing the control to fix it and prevent it."
This.
Wow, I had almost the complete opposite experience as a kid. Whenever I did anything wrong, my parents would let me go as soon as I said sorry, even if I said it sulkily.
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