Good evening bitches,
This is a letter from the sanity doctor. No one cares what you think.
Tonight I was embarrassing. I don't give a shit. I'm comfortable. Within everything in this moment. My microwave exuded a delicious, cheesy, Boca-infused treat and I am right with the world.
To try hard means to care. And to care means to be interested. And to be interested implies having a stake in something. What does it mean to have a stake? It means that something impacts you in some way that is significant enough for your life to be altered in some noticeable way. That is what having a stake is.
So why should I care if someone told me I try too hard? Perhaps they were misled into believing that I cared about someone or something. Or that I was interested, perhaps. I have interests and when I do, I make them known. Intoxication makes this process incredibly fluent. Hormones add an additional effect of dumbfoundedness. Whatever. I'd rather be dumb when drunk than a jack-ass when sober.
I am a try-hard. You know why? It's because I put everything into whatever I do. I care about everything my time is invested in. I try hard because I have an ivy league education. I try hard because my brain is inherently analytic and I acknowledge it. I try hard because I've made myself who I am. I try hard because no one else tries for my sake. I know I try hard and I don't care that I try hard. I don't care that I care. I don't care that I have interests. I don't care that I have stakes in the world.
Ironically, I try hard but I really don't. I'm 23 years old. I have my own life and my own habitat. I have respect from my family and from my friends for who I am. And who I am is not pretty. That's an accomplishment - gaining respect for non-pretty things. I am a blithering mess and often times I don't feel compelled to better myself. Sure most of the time I make an effort to seize the day and wear appropriate attire to work. But sometimes I just want to chill out, have a drink, talk with some humans, and forgot about the stupid invisible rules we are all told to follow. These rules come from people who care about what other people think and do. These people are insecure. Rules are insecurities.
So I guess you could say that I try hard to not try hard. It all comes down with how we were raised. Parents are the worst and most hated category of humans in the world. It's because they are responsible for everything. Parents are the new scapegoat. Say nothing about drugs and alcohol. If parents raise you as achievers, then you will appear to be a try-hard to those who were raised to be coddled and, subsequently, judgmental.
One last note; If someone says something to you which seems really honest and forward and either bitchy or over-flirtatious, and then proceeds to walk away while also putting a physical barrier in between themselves and you, THIS PERSON IS A FRAUD. Do NOT trust this person with your life or anything for that matter. This person is hiding behind the physical barrier because they are insecure and non-confrontational. They are pussies.
Or they are too sober.
THE END.
This is a letter from the sanity doctor. No one cares what you think.
Tonight I was embarrassing. I don't give a shit. I'm comfortable. Within everything in this moment. My microwave exuded a delicious, cheesy, Boca-infused treat and I am right with the world.
To try hard means to care. And to care means to be interested. And to be interested implies having a stake in something. What does it mean to have a stake? It means that something impacts you in some way that is significant enough for your life to be altered in some noticeable way. That is what having a stake is.
So why should I care if someone told me I try too hard? Perhaps they were misled into believing that I cared about someone or something. Or that I was interested, perhaps. I have interests and when I do, I make them known. Intoxication makes this process incredibly fluent. Hormones add an additional effect of dumbfoundedness. Whatever. I'd rather be dumb when drunk than a jack-ass when sober.
I am a try-hard. You know why? It's because I put everything into whatever I do. I care about everything my time is invested in. I try hard because I have an ivy league education. I try hard because my brain is inherently analytic and I acknowledge it. I try hard because I've made myself who I am. I try hard because no one else tries for my sake. I know I try hard and I don't care that I try hard. I don't care that I care. I don't care that I have interests. I don't care that I have stakes in the world.
Ironically, I try hard but I really don't. I'm 23 years old. I have my own life and my own habitat. I have respect from my family and from my friends for who I am. And who I am is not pretty. That's an accomplishment - gaining respect for non-pretty things. I am a blithering mess and often times I don't feel compelled to better myself. Sure most of the time I make an effort to seize the day and wear appropriate attire to work. But sometimes I just want to chill out, have a drink, talk with some humans, and forgot about the stupid invisible rules we are all told to follow. These rules come from people who care about what other people think and do. These people are insecure. Rules are insecurities.
So I guess you could say that I try hard to not try hard. It all comes down with how we were raised. Parents are the worst and most hated category of humans in the world. It's because they are responsible for everything. Parents are the new scapegoat. Say nothing about drugs and alcohol. If parents raise you as achievers, then you will appear to be a try-hard to those who were raised to be coddled and, subsequently, judgmental.
One last note; If someone says something to you which seems really honest and forward and either bitchy or over-flirtatious, and then proceeds to walk away while also putting a physical barrier in between themselves and you, THIS PERSON IS A FRAUD. Do NOT trust this person with your life or anything for that matter. This person is hiding behind the physical barrier because they are insecure and non-confrontational. They are pussies.
Or they are too sober.
THE END.
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